Saturday, April 1, 2017

Salsa: It's all about the women

Salsa is all about the women.  If women didn’t love salsa, no guy in the world would ever go through the Hell of salsa training without the lure of beautiful women at the end of the tunnel.  During several recent salsa scholastic episodes, my instructors have encouraged me to keep my feet moving.  I plead guilty.  When I’m dancing, I have a whirling dervish right in front of me.  If  I’m not careful, I’m going to eat an elbow, or worse.

I’ve watched numerous world-class salsa performances at Gonzo’s SalsaMania.  While the woman executes some fabulous move, the guy doesn’t dance around; he just stands there and supports her, with his feet flat on the floor and his knees bent.  Like a matador.

So, yeah, my feet stop moving occasionally, but it’s because I want to protect my partner. 

Because salsa is all about the women.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Ya think?

Back in the ‘80’s, I used to live out Bee Cave Road in the Lake Hills area.  One night, my first ex-wife drove us into town for happy hour.  I looked over at the speedometer and saw 60 in a 45 zone. 

I said: “You sure are driving fast.”

Moments later, strobing red lights flooded the interior of the car.

We pulled over.  A West Lake Hills cop approached her window, and said:

“Do you know you were going 60?”

I said: “See, I told you so.”

I looked at Donna.  Steam came out of her ears.

The cop looked at us both.  Perhaps recalling his previous encounters with domestic disputes, he handed her license and registration back, said: 

“Have a nice night,” and returned to his patrol car. 

Leaving us alone.

I think that is one of the reasons we divorced.

Friday, March 3, 2017

God bless salsa

Last Sunday, I heard Timberos del Norte at the One2One bar. The band plays original songs in the Cuban timba style. They are a very energetic band, with lots of horns and a large rhythm section. Two weeks ago, the lead singer, Monica, and her husband traveled to Cuba for a music vacation. They heard multiple live bands, and came home energized with new musical ideas to share with their band mates. Several songs into the set Sunday night, Monica began to play her flute while the band backed her up. After about a minute, she had to stop because she was crying tears of joy brought on by playing the instrument she loves, with the band she loves, in front of an appreciative audience in the town she loves. When she finally composed herself, and resumed her featured part, the entire band levitated, and the crowd went wild.    God bless salsa.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Careful distinction.

Last night at SalsaMania:

She:  Hi, my name is Lauren.  Are you a professional salsa dancer?
         You sure look like one.

me:   No.  Professionals get paid, and I do it for free.

Sunday, December 25, 2016

The Mexican mafia

me:  What’s it like being the most beautiful woman in the club?

        She looked sideways at me.

me:  No, I’m serious.  What’s it like?

She:  No one talks to me.

me:  Except me.

She:  Yes.

me:  Let’s dance.


She:  When I dance bachata with you, you make me feel like a queen.

me:  Well, you should, because you are a queen.

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Good advice is hard to find

me:  Happy birthday on the big 6-0.  Tell me something you've learned.

She:  You know how you meet someone, and they're really charming, and things are going great, and you're thinking of moving in together?

I nod my head yes.

She:  Well, before you do, first do a criminal background check on your loverboy.

me: (With eyebrows raised)   Gosh.  You sound like two of my old girlfriends,  each of whom claimed five ex-husbands.  You could not deceive those women.  They had already heard every lie.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

The Nordic Goddess

While attending a house salsa party about three months ago, I chatted up Jacqueline, the Nordic Goddess.  With auburn hair, peaches and cream skin, and long dancer's legs, she looked like an
Orange Creamsicle come to life.

She:  What do you do?

me:   I'm a Leisure Consultant.

She:  A what?

me:  Yeah, I coach my clients on how to enjoy life.

My advice:     Step One: Quit your job.  Step Two:  Do what you love.

She:  What if I'm already doing that?

me:  Then you don't need my advice.

Then last week at the Pura Austin salsa social:

She:  Hi!  I just stopped in to tell you goodbye!

me:   Oh?

She:  I booked a one-way flight to Spain today!  I leave next Monday!

me:    How nice.  Let's dance.