Kidnapped

Last night at Pura Austin:

me: Where have you been? I haven't seen you in a while.

She: I was kidnapped.

me: You mean you were a sex slave?

She gave me a sly nod yes.

The handicapped

me: The way I see it, extreme beauty such as yours is like a physical handicap. When guys meet you, their brains short-circuit; they can't think straight, and they start strutting their egos like peacocks, while women become insanely jealous because you embody everything to which they aspire.

She: Oh, you understand.

1 mph

Yesterday, as I was walking through my HEB’s parking lot, I heard someone calling my name.  I turned, and saw one of my salsa partners approaching at a rapid pace while she waved me down.

I stopped, and when she got close, I gave her a big salsa hug.  Over her shoulder, I could see a late model pickup approaching us at 1 mph.  The guy, in his fifties, pulled along side us with his passenger window was rolled down because of the cold front, and said: 

“I thought y’all were going to start dancing.”

I said:  “We do that.”

He drove on, smiling, at 1 mph.