Monday, May 24, 2010

The Unicorn

"Do it big, do it right, and do it with style."  Fred Astaire.

The phone rang about 8:45 on a Friday evening.  

Jewels, the Panamanian salsera with legs to die for, said:  "I just passed my exam for my Master's in English, and I want to party.  Ritmo Tres starts in a few minutes, and I want you and Kurt, my two favorite salsa partners, to come down here and dance with me."  

I replied:  "Jewels, you know I love to dance with you, but I'm moving my parents from their condo in San Antonio into an assisted living facility here in Austin right now.  I had a 14 hour day today loading the truck, and another 14 hours tomorrow  to unload, and I need to stay home and rest up".  

"What?" She said with mock incredulity, "You mean I've met a responsible man?"  

"'Fraid so," I replied.  

She laughed and added "You know, I worked in an assisted living facility in Bastrop a while ago.  The old people were outrageous.  There was one crazy lady whose daughter had died of a drug overdose.  She claimed the doctors had a machine that blew water up her ass and flushed out all the drugs, and she was still alive.  We all just smiled and said OK".  

With that, she hung up and went dancing, and I went to bed.

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